Life & Stories

A Goodbye to my sister, Donna

Memorial to my sister, Donna.

California, 2013.

Hello everyone. My name is Steve Roper. Donna was my little sister. And I was lucky enough to know her longer than anyone else here…

I am here today to thank you all for caring about Donna. It’s heartwarming to me that so many of you cared about our little sister.

Donna loved adventure… and we shared many mini-adventures together. She had that spirit that was game for anything. We snorkeled with Manatees in Florida, scuba dove in Belize, sailed on Lake Champlain, wandered through the Redwoods on more than one occasion, took Prop Boat trips through the Everglades, went to Disneyworld twice, tried to find the twelve days of Christmas at Buchart Gardens in Victoria for almost an hour only to discover that only eleven had been completed up to that point and wrote hundreds of letters to each other from wherever I was living.

But I guess the story that makes me smile the most about Donna happened when she was 28 while I was taking my Pilots License in Florida. Donna was down for ten days and we were enjoying the beach house I had rented. Donna would get up every day, wander down the beach into New Smyrna and pick up breakfast and wander back while I did a bit of work.

One day I said, ‘Hey. I am taking my flying lesson this afternoon. Would you like to join me? It’s a four-seater Cessna and you could hop into the back and fly with me’.

Donna being Donna, she said, ‘Sure’!

So we climbed into the little airplane, tucked Donna in securely in the back and took off out over the coastline of Florida. We flew for about 45 minutes then turned back to the airport.

Now I don’t know how many of you have ever flown a small plane but you have to keep headphones on to listen to alerts and reports coming from local municipal airports and what not and as we were approaching a bridge where we were to fly over, a loud, very demanding voice came over the headphones stating, ‘This is the US Army. You are flying in restricted airspace. Lower your altitude immediately to below 900 feet’! We were at 1,600 feet.

And I pushed the steering column forward and went instantly into a 45% freefall, forgetting that Donna was sitting in the backseat. I knew what was happening and my Instructor knew what was happening but it sure as heck surprised Donna.

Fifteen minutes later we landed, Donna wobbled out of the backseat and politely asked the Instructor where the washroom was.

I never did get her back into a plane with me…

What did Donna teach me? Well, first, Donna made me smile. When I was feeling blue, she was my lead cheerleader, and, having read through many letters I have, we pretty much made every effort to make each other feel like the best person ever created… but Donna made me proud. She made me feel a sense of pride, in the best way.

Donna always wanted to move somewhere warm and one day, in the late 1980’s told me of her plans to move to California. I remember taking her to the airport. We hugged and I watched as my little sister walked away on her first great adventure… I was so proud of her for going after her dream.

I often told her how brave she was and how wonderful it was that she had the courage to pursue that dream and achieve it. It was the right thing for Donna to do. And then she met Marty, and I could not have been happier. Donna found her soul-mate and in a warm place.

If Donna taught me anything, she taught me that pride is not a bad thing. I was proud of her and her achievements… and that gave me the ability to express that feeling to her. Donna taught me to be a better person. 

I don’t think there is anyone in this room that would not say that Donna touched their lives with kindness. And this is what I hope everyone of you here today will take away with you… “Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.”

In closing, I am comforted today by knowing that the last words I spoke to Donna, both verbally and in writing were, ‘I love you’.

And the day Donna passed away, I received a card in the mail from her, which I would have received after she had passed away. It said, ‘Steve, I agree with you. Forgiveness is healthy. I love you. Your little sister, Donna.’

I’m not usually a man who believes in mysticism but I do know that that card was destined to reach me at that time… and I do know that Donna meant those words for me so I could express them to you all here today. ‘Forgiveness is healthy.’

I woke Sunday morning after she passed smiling, with a vision of Donna walking hand in hand with our Mother and Father in heaven. Donna turned to look back and smiled.

Donna was my sister… beautifully brilliant. I cannot wait to go on another adventure with her when we meet again in Heaven.

 

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